Trade Self-Doubt For Success
Category : Women Business, Women Lifestyle, Women Personality
Do your achievements make you feel like a fraud? Here are four ways to get over “impostor syndrome.â€
By age 27, Susan was a top executive, third in command at a major magazine and managing 45 people. Being praised for her work and rewarded with promotions were things she’d experienced at all her jobs. Yet even as she made giant leaps up the ladder, Susan never felt satisfied that she was working to her capacity. “I kept pushing myself harder and harder because of my desire to succeed and because I felt that until I achieved that, I wasn’t safe from my inner feelings of inadequacy,†she says. But Susan, who set demanding goals that didn’t allow for failure of any kind, couldn’t simply enjoy her success - she felt like a fraud.
Fear of being seen as a failure, paired with high achievement, is common, says Barbara Reinhold, Ed.D., director of career and executive development at Smith College in Northampton, Mass. If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone: Reinhold estimates that half of the highly successful women she works with worry about not living up to others’ perceptions of them, even though plenty of evidence confirms their abilities.
The first step in freeing yourself from phenomenon - know as “impostor syndrome†- is recognizing it. See if one of the following four profiles describes you, and what you can do to gain confidence:
The superwoman
The superwoman prepares to the point that she wastes time. She’s frequently impatient with co-workers - she feels they wok too slowly and don’t measure up to her own (impossible) standards. She may redraft a proposal a dozen times when two would have been sufficient. Her work is usually praised, which reinforces her belief that her unrelenting perfectionism is the price she must pay for success.
The solution Create strict time allocations for tasks, Reinhold suggests. They force you to figure out what’s high-priority vs. what’s unnecessary. If you take four days tp prep for a project, give yourself three, then two.
The wallflower
She’s the silent woman on the sidelines at meetings, who won’t speak her mind because she fears looking foolish. Yet more often than not, her ideas would have been right on target.
The solution Vow to speak up once or twice per meeting. If you can get the agenda ahead of time, you can practice contributions privately. “Then drop your well-phrased suggestions at the meeting, and you’ll have a victory,†Reinhold says.
The comparer
The comparer constantly overestimates others as smarter and defter than herself. “People with impostor issue do a lot of comparing,†says Pauline Rose Clance, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Georgia State University in Atlanta.
The solution Realize that no matter how brilliant others may seem they have struggles too. Concentrate on your own successes: List your strengths in a journal along with any positive feedback you’ve received from others. When you review your notes you’ll see your value.
The self-saboteur
The self-saboteur is her own worst enemy. She doesn’t seek advancements for fear of failing or being told no.
The solution When you want to go for increased responsibility but are hesitant, ask yourself what’s the worst thing that could happen. If things don’t work out, could you get another job or return to your former role? Says Clance: “After they think this way, the women I work with will go for it, and do succeed.â€
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