Women and Friendship, Toxic and Healthy Friendships | Women Lifestyle, Fashion, Health, Beauty and Personality

Women and Friendship, Toxic and Healthy Friendships
Category : Dating Relationship, Self Development, Women Personality

“Girls cannot be trusted” was the message I received over and over from my mom once I hit adolescence. She saw me struggling to understand how I could be invited over to a sleepover with girls one weekend, and by the next weekend the same girls were mad at me. Up until adolescence, I got along with both girls and guys very well but felt closer to my female companions.
Adolescence changed my view of female friendships, and that lasted throughout my twenties. Nothing dramatic happened to me, it was just experience after experience in which I felt betrayed and hurt by girls. By the time I was in high school, I concluded that I got along better with guys. Even though the majority of my time was spent with girl friends, on a deep emotional level, I no longer trusted them.

Today, I cannot imagine life without women friends. Although my husband is an incredible person and friend, my female friendships fulfill me in a way that my husband could never do. Female friendships allow deep emotional comfort and understanding regarding issues that have less meaning to my husband. With my women friends, we also share a different sense of humor and silliness. Simply stated, they touch my feminine spirit in a way that allows me to be more womanly and true to myself in the world!
What caused this change in my relationships with women? Me. I had to take the time to sort through my own insecurities and masks that I had put up, and I had to recognize how they were not working for me. Sure, I could mask my insecurities, but that is just coping, and living by coping is not a fun way to live. By coping, I had lost who I really was, as I tried to please and manipulate myself into being someone who would be more likeable. Thus, in order for me to like me and know myself again, I had to put down the masks. Putting down my masks meant I also had to learn to be okay with the fact that not everyone was going to like the real me. I had to confront my fear that being myself may mean that I could be completely alone.

By putting down my own masks, I finally learned to like my true self. Learning how to like myself meant becoming less judgmental toward myself. This taught me not only compassion for myself but also toward others. Eliminating judgment from my life meant I could no longer tolerate others’ criticalness either. I also naturally began to drift away from friends who were filled with drama. The drama was too toxic.
As I freed myself from the toxic people, there was more room for those people who were a good fit with my true self. The greater the freedom I felt in expressing myself, the more I found friends who were a great match for me. Today, my friends vary from me in race, religion, socio-economic class and age, but what is consistent is their sense of security in themselves that allows me to enjoy getting to know them and vice-versa.

When we like ourselves enough we will not allow toxic friends to invade our lives. It may sound over-the-top to call it an invasion, but it is. Our energy states are directly impacted from so-called friends who only want to suck the life force out of us because they come from a place of lack. Even if these energy zappers are old friends, we can learn to create healthy boundaries.
Knowing that you have the choice to determine who you will allow into your life and who you won’t is empowering and supports you to live life with greater ease and freedom. Above everything else – trust your intuition to guide you. The connections that we make from our hearts will withstand time regardless if there is temporary separation. Trust in your inner wisdom to guide you to women who bring out your best and vice versa. It is with these friends that you can celebrate the true essence of womanhood!

Signs of Toxic Friendships
Judgmental
Exclusionary
Self-Involved
Gossipy

Signs of Healthy Friendships
Accepting of Differences
Secure and Open
Self-Aware
Honest